Career Opportunities

Member. One.

We do not divide roles. Division is where authority begins.

Your name will be chosen after joining, by those around you, not by you. (See Penal Code, Art. 230.)

Serve tea. Massage the shoulders of senior members. Write articles. Build things. Sell. Apologize.

The order does not matter. Learn tea first. Those who learn tea are excused from learning everything else.

Events must be set up. This includes physical labor. Work gloves are provided.

There are no meetings. There is only time set aside to confirm what has already been decided.

A senior member is one who has been recognized by a senior member.

There is no record of who recognized the first senior member. It is not that the record was not kept. It is that it did not remain. (See Labor Standards Act, Art. 109.)

There are currently five. The number has never increased. It has never decreased.

Senior members are watching you. When they are not, behave as though they are.

There is no way to become one. Everyone who has become one says so.

Nothing is forbidden. There are only a few things we ask you to refrain from.

Romance is free. Please report it. A romance that cannot be reported is not called romance here. (See Constitution of Japan, Art. 13.)

Lunch is free, as long as no one sees you eating.

Smile only after a senior member has smiled first.

Opinions are free, on the premise that no one is listening. (See Constitution of Japan, Art. 21.)

The following is the minimum line. The line is drawn not to be crossed, but so that you know which side you are on.

Five or more years of full-stack development. Any missing years will be spent after joining.

Three or more years in strategy consulting. We no longer ask what you advised.

Five or more years in sales. Any industry. We do not ask what you sold, or whether it sold.

Three or more years supervising construction sites or performing civil engineering labor.

One or more years as a shift leader at a convenience store.

You need not meet all of these. Awareness that you do not is sufficient.

Those whose tea tastes good.

Those who give a good massage. (See Act on Practitioners of Massage, Finger Pressure, Acupuncture and Moxibustion, Art. 1.)

Those whose family is wealthy. (See Civil Code, Art. 877.)

Those who wake in the night and do not know why.

Those who can recall their own name in someone else's voice.

Those who can read my words halfway. Those who can read them to the end are not needed.

9:00 to 18:00.

However, there are no clocks in the office. Time advances only while you are not working.

There is no overtime. For the reason above, it cannot exist. (See Labor Standards Act, Art. 32.)

Eighteen months. Unpaid. (See Labor Standards Act, Art. 21.)

We will inform you when probation ends. We have not yet informed anyone.

Base salary: 0 yen. (See Minimum Wage Act, Art. 4.)

Two percent of the revenue you generate is paid as an incentive. Revenue is defined by senior members.

Of all the things that bind you, salary is the lightest. That is why we have made it the lightest.

One holiday per year: January 1st. If January 1st falls on a holiday, no substitute day is given. (See Labor Standards Act, Art. 35.)

Caregiver leave is available. A fine of 80,000 yen per day applies. Members who do not care for their parents are dismissed. (See Labor Standards Act, Art. 91; Labor Contracts Act, Art. 16.)

Yielding to the pressure of the times, parental leave is available to all genders. A fine of 80,000 yen per day applies. (See Child Care and Family Care Leave Act, Art. 10.)

Child nursing leave is available. However, unless there is a special reason, you must not recognize the child as your child. (See Civil Code, Art. 779; on parental authority, Art. 821.)

Paid leave is available. As base salary is 0 yen, a day of leave and a working day are indistinguishable in pay. The distinction remains only within you.

A kotatsu. Senior members only.

Smoking is permitted in every room. There is no smoking room, because every room is one. Please bring your own ashtray. (See Health Promotion Act, Art. 29.)

Fax machine available. Replies arrive by post.

ONE Desk program. To celebrate your joining, you may purchase up to 80,000 yen of "something" to improve your desk. Senior members decide what the something is.

Think! Benefits program. Devise your own benefit, and if a senior member approves, it becomes official. No benefit has ever been approved, apart from this one.

Coffee Nap program. Sleep is permitted when approved by a senior member. Coffee is served black only.

There is no procedure for leaving. It has never been needed. (See Civil Code, Art. 627.)

One interview. We ask no questions. We wait until you have finished speaking.

We do not notify results. You will know the next morning.